What’s In This For Me?

I stumbled on this interesting “What if…” scenario.  The full post and responses are here, but the premise is this:

Say you were offered the chance to be introduced to the great love of your life, your absolute perfect soul mate. The two of you will be perfect together– compatible personalities, the same taste in movies and books, sex so good you’ll temporarily lose the power of speech– but you’ll only be together for five years. At the end of five years, your partner will die, absolutely and inevitably– you’ll be told the time, place, and manner of their death, and nothing you do can stop it.

This person is perfect for you, but there is absolutely no way you will ever meet by chance. The only chance you have of meeting is to be introduced by the person who will also tell you the time, place, and manner of your soul mate’s death. Or, you can go on with your life as it is now, and just make the best you can of what you have.

Do you take the offer?

Hmmm…let me think…how many ways are there to say…yes.  This is one sweet slice of life experience to be offered.  Why would one refuse?  Join me in my mind(a scary place) as I expound on why I would, like, so totally do it(some reasons may be inserted or exaggerated for jokey-joke/I cannot ever be completely serious reasons):

• Meeting new people: This is a person that, unless you take the deal, you will never meet and, quite possibly their circle of friends and family some of which may also become your friends.
• Wuv, twu wuv…: Something pined/struggled/worked for in each of our lifetimes.  You get five years of it.  Quite possibly the best aspect of the deal.  Five years of being able to not only receive love, but to be able to love freely for five years.  Not only an amazing experience, it is an amazing learning experience.  There is no way that you can convince me that five years of being able to accept and be accepted, not having to worry about rejection, being free and open with your love does/would not make you a better human.  This is five years of true freedom that society/upbringing does not allow anyone to ever have.  How is that ever a bad thing?
• Time Limit: “All good things…”  Some look on this as a downer, but the philosophy of this part of the deal is key.  The desired result is the “you never know/live life like its…” which I’ve actually ranted against, yet this scenario supports my desire/hope to learn to be more present and aware of the now.  Another great learning experience to make a better person.
• Death(part one): Meet them or not, this person will die on X date of X reason.  The two of you are a perfect match according to the scenario, so why would you deny anyone their last years of perfect bliss?  To spare yourself the pain of loss?  Remember, there is nothing in the rules stating that you can’t go “Romeo & Juliet” and follow your beloved if you cannot go on.  What a great choice/experience: are you strong enough to go on/follow them into the great whatever?
• Death(part two): This concerns the, “dying from a horrible (whatever),” issue raised.  You couldn’t be there?  Somewhat understandable, if you didn’t learn the lessons of the above points.  But I look at it as a question of could you send them to the great (whatever).  Are you willing to stop/ease/end the pain and torment that your love is in.  Yes.  Yes.
• It’s a great story, “The franchise rights alone…”: Guessing that you choose to live on, what better to inspire/enlighten people than an amazing tale such as this.
• It’s a great story, part douche: Guessing that there was no learning curve, this is the greatest sympathy eff story/movie idea ever and if you’re of the mind, cash in.

So…Your thoughts/answers/reactions are…?

Apoalyptic

You are Apocalypse

Apocalypse 71% Dr. Doom 69% Magneto 61% Dark Phoenix 59% Riddler 54% Juggernaut 52% Lex Luthor 51% Venom 48% The Joker 46% Catwoman 45% Poison Ivy 45% Two-Face 44% Mr. Freeze 40% Green Goblin 40% Kingpin 35% Mystique 28%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

You Don’t Bring Me Flowers…*

…I mean come on.  If you’re not going to put forth the effort, I’m not sure where this relationship is going.

Ahh… the old VD.  Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of young love quite like it.  In truth, I’ve never been a fan of the occasion and yet, it does get me a thinkun about the ancient art of pitching the woo(one must take care when pitching, lest ye get forked**).

Being socially stunted, I myself only have a few “mad skilz” going for me.  My go to move was developed in the old days of junior high.  The classic note:

“Do you like me?  If so, check this box.”

After that I learned the secret of the best cheesecake… ever.  But that really does not work at the bars(seriously, you try getting anorexic weight conscious individuals interested in high calorie taste sensations).

Find a karaoke bar and I might stand a chance at upstaging the dude with the abs of six and the matching I.Q., but again it’s a place and time kind of thing.

There was this one time, in another life, that I did something that did work(though I’m fairly sure that the object of my affection already liked me.  Really, really liked me).  Not exactly original, but it proved to be effective at the time.  I’ve not employed it since, but here it is for you to use, should you truly be desperate:

StalkInquire about the schedule/whereabouts of your intended, and when the opportunity arises leave a single rose(budget permitting) on the door of their residence/car windshield with the following poem by Edmund Waller:

Go, lovely Rose—
Tell her that wastes her time and me,
That now she knows,
When I resemble her to thee,
How sweet and fair she seems to be.
Tell her that ‘s young,
And shuns to have her graces spied,
That hadst thou sprung
In deserts where no men abide,
Thou must have uncommended died.
Small is the worth
Of beauty from the light retired:
Bid her come forth,
Suffer herself to be desired,
And not blush so to be admired.
Then die—that she
The common fate of all things rare
May read in thee;
How small a part of time they share
That are so wondrous sweet and fair!

Yeah, I can’t believe it worked either.  Happy snogging!

 *the song is now in your head, on a loop…good luck with intimacy now, sucka!

**I am never, ever above a horrific pun.

And I thought I thought about this stuff too much…

So…um…yeah…

I found this article.

If you know me you know why I had to read it.

Better Book Club?

This book recommendation(for the two or three people who read this) should be on many must read lists if you ask me(you didn’t, but oh well).

“Pigtopia,” by Kitty Fitzgerald.

I really don’t want to get into it too much, but I found it to be a good(yet sad) story.  It’s been out for awhile, but I’ve never known anyone else to have read it, and I like to see what others thought.  Any takers?

Battle Royale

If you’re not aware…things finally came to a head in the Stewart/Colbert/Conan feud that seeks to both claim the rights to Mike Huckabee and fill time because of the writer’s strike.  The final throw-down/recap can be found here and it’s totally worth it.

Kudos to these three fine artists for settling their differences as men.  But I must point out that in the comments section, there were a couple of jabs to writers.  Please people, try to remember that the writers want to be working, and all of these late night hosts want their writers back.  This was not an eff you to their staff, but a great collaboration for three comedians looking for a fun way to kill a bit of air time while they wait for their team to get back to full strength.  Not to mention a nostalgic look back at the glorious days of acid washed jeans(and yes I was probably wearing them myself when I watched that episode of The Jon Stewart Show when it originally aired).

Bonus Points

I’m of the opinion that your DVD collection reveals something about you.  Leave me alone with it for any amount of time  and I’ll go over it like I’m looking in your medicine cabinet in the bathroom.  Like books on the shelf, I’ll draw conclusions about you from the choices you make in what you’ve dedicated money to for your film collection(some people use music, I use flicks).

Most prospects have at least one DVD with the powerhouse combo of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.  Which is fine.  But if they have “Joe Versus the Volcano”…

Well let’s just say I’m sticking around to see what happens.