…the gift of song

Singing.  It’s one of the various skills that I have.  I’ve been told that I’m good by family and friends(required by law), as well as others(usually karaoke patrons who’ve had a drink or seven).  I’ve some raw talent and some formal training and in some moments of vanity, I imagine I’m a fair vocalist.  Most importantly, it’s something that I enjoy doing even if I can’t stand to hear it in playback(with live performance monitors I focus on the volume, not the sounds).  The oddity that I’ve never been able to figure out(one of them anyway) is that I have no clue as to how I aquired the desire to sing.

I understand the talent/genetic factor of a voice that some find pleasing and that choirs, schools and some coaching have allowed me to advance to a certain level, but I know not where the want, the need came from.  Outside of the manditory “Happy Birthday to You” once a year, I have no memory of anyone singing to me.  Ever.  No lullabies that I know of were ever used to coax me into slumber.  I cannot even pick out anyone in my family singing outside of church(the only time anyone other than myself has ever sung, they outright refuse to do it otherwise) and I was to young at the time to have developed the skill to pickout voices during those hymns(plus most of the church just droned the melody, men an octive lower), not that I found the hymns all that musically enticing.

My very first performance, and one of my early memories, was when I was five.  Christmas Eve service at the church.  I have a fairly vague recollection of rehearsal but I know I practiced and learned, because I was singing “Silent Night” in English and German and oh yeah, I was signing it too(I was so much smarter as a kid).  I do not recall being nervous, I might have been, but I did not recognize that feeling until later in life.  What I do remember is singing and signing and feeling that I was breathing something beautiful that I could not explain(then or now).  I’ve seen what I think is the only picture of this, but it pales in comparison to the love I felt in that moment for the singing.

Since then I have sang with, for and to many people and even if I’ve aquired more technique, the adoration of the act still hums right along with me.  I should dabble in it more than I do to be certain, as it feels great and I think/long for a time when I can find someone to not only sing with me, but to me.  It’s one of those thoughts that count presents.  I’m not looking for perfect pitch, just one who might give me…


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