Last night I fell in love.

Let me explain:

As I do from time to time, I agreed to assist a local college directing course.  It was an impromptu “casting” session.  A true cold read as I had no knowledge of the play from which they were drawing their scenes yet, to be honest, I do not think the young directors were immersed in the material as well.  And that’s fine with me, they’re young and learning.

The first read and scene is fine for what it is.  A volunteer cold read is what it is, and the chemestry was lukewarm due to the awkward nature of the reading.  The second scene…well that’s where it got interesting(for me anyway).

I was partnered with Z. and that was a good thing as I learned more about the scene that we were to read.  Both characters want to be with the other, and both have their issues, which is a situation I am all too familiar with.

In truth, Z. hit most of my attraction switches(not that my other partner did not, Z. just hit more), and that was a big help for the chemistry for the scene(for me, I cannot speak for Z.).  The  chocloate brown hair, the eyes to get lost in and forget why you’re here…could eat a sandwich or two, but not Skeletor by any means.  Did I mention the eyes?  Yet in reality, Z. was normal.  Which is also a good thing. 

The character however was…a bit psycho(I believe the clinical term is “Bat-shit Insane”), which for me(in reality)completes the trifecta and therefore(as far as the scene is concerned) makes the read a walk in the park.  Yeah, it was an easy “Method” read for me as I allowed myself to fall for and sabotage any hope I had with Z’s character(“art” mirrors life?  You decide.).

So we do the scene and, cold as the read was, I let myself fall.  Granted, for me I’ve been here too many times and done the exact stupid thing, but this time I just let go.  I allowed myself to long for  Z’s touch, companionship/whatever that I felt as if I would perish without it, and then I obliterated any chance I had for it.

It was beautifully wrenching(for me at least), and honestly, I care not what anyone else thought because:

For a moment that will stretch into forever, I allowed this character a life with love.  Not one that was perfect, but one with ups and downs and moments of mediocrity.  All of which were prevented by the character. 

It felt great and horrific at the same time.  In one minute and thirty seconds, I’d loved, lived and lost the best(and unknown).

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