Archive for December, 2007

What are you looking at?

Posted in Umm...yeah...okay... on December 30, 2007 by Mas Younon

This is just too (insert adjective here) to not warn you about.  The end is near.

The Short List

Posted in Uncategorized on December 30, 2007 by Mas Younon

It’s that time of the year.  Everyone’s making them.  Best of/Worst of/Most/Least/Resolutions.   They’re too numerous to…well…list.  So, in an effort to better myself join in the fun whilst still maintaining my need to complain through the end of 2007, I’ve compiled my list.

Words that could more than adequately describe me(not that I’m sure that’s entirely a good thing) in no particular order:

  1. misanthrope(MIH sen thrope) –n. an individual who hates society and people in general.
  2. querulous(KWER yuh lus, also KWER uh lus) –adj. often complaining, critical; inclined to find fault.
  3. diffidence(DIH fuh duhnts, also DIH fuh DENTS) –n. a hesitance in acting or asserting oneself due to a lack of self-confidence; shyness.

Gratitude to “The Bibliophile’s Dictionary” for new ways to state some of my faults personality quirks.

Now That’s Just Depressing

Posted in Uncategorized on December 30, 2007 by Mas Younon

You Had a Bad Year


Your year was horrible. There’s no other way to say it.

A lot went wrong for you, and you’re still recovering from it.

The good news is that things probably won’t get worse for you.

So look forward to the new year, where things will hopeful be much better!

How Did Your Year Rate?

It’s in the Cards

Posted in Suffering on December 27, 2007 by Mas Younon

Gift Cards…

I pride myself on the fact that I give good gift.  To be honest, I couldn’t tell you if it was a learned skill or not.  My brother and some of my friends seem to have the talent, but there are others who(as wonderful as the gesture is) just seem to opt for the card.  I’m not offended by them.  I don’t have the, “you don’t know me,” meltdown or anything like that.  It’s just that they’re so evil.  Which is why I ask that I do not get them and sure enough, I do…in excess.

Do not misunderstand, I appreciate and use them and that is where the evil lies.  Allow me to explain:

  1. The (good)site specific card:  Here is a daemon that torments me.  Once I have one of these, logic ceases to exist.  Now I have X amount of cash for my favourite/crack addiction locales.  Hence I will go there and spend three times as much as the amount I’ve been gifted with(which I know I shouldn’t).
  2. The AMEX/Visa/MasterCard card:  Evil Incardnate(so much so that it deserves the bad pun).  Too many rules and technological problems(Satan’s attorney came up with these I’m certain).  Don’t use it here.  If you do not use it by X we will charge you Y until the balance is zero.  YOU must check the balance on your own.  Some places may not be able to process…True story:  I tried to use one and it was rejected.  I paid another way, went home and checked the card balance only to find the EXACT amount gone.  I won’t go into what ring of the inferno you have to enter to try and dispute that one(no I didn’t get the money back, and yes I thought about becoming Tlyer Durden that day).
  3. The (bad)site specific card:  Okay…I guess you don’t know me(personally I’ve not had this experience but I have heard tales).
  4. The forced company Secret Santa (bad)site specific card:  The forced company SS deserves its own post, but for now, let’s just say that somewhere in my clean apartment, there lurks an old gift card to See’s Candies.  A wonderful place which I(whose last remaining sweet tooth belongs to the crack laced Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie) visit every neverday.
  5. Cash/Checks=Better:  Just as impersonal?  Possibly.  Yet far superior to gift cards.  Why?  As a colleague of mine so brilliantly put it, “You can’t pay bills with a gift card.”  Especially that credit card bill that racked up with the holiday season.

Why bring this up now?  The season’s past.  True, but aside from the afore mentioned technical problems I’ve had this month, it’s never too late to help out the future of giving.  Besides, I decided to use this final week of the year to complain before my brain melts and the holidays are just so bloated and lazy.  It’s fresh on the cerebrum.

Worst Ad Campaign of 2007

Posted in Anger on December 26, 2007 by Mas Younon

WINNER:  Burger King

REASON:

As if the bobble-headed mascot ripped from a Lewis Carroll nightmare wasn’t creepy enough.  This year, the King insults and devalues both it’s employees and it’s consumers.  It began with the P.Diddy advert that was supposed to illustrate that the fast food chain is now “open later for you.”  I haven’t had it my way since I saw this vile excuse for a commercial that extols the benefits of the privileged over that of the employees(who are relegated to the role of servants locked in the building until the owner turns them and the lights on with the clapper).  BK followed that pile of ignorance with the Soccer Mom King Killer bits that simply do not work on any level and then ends the year by “punking” it’s customers and filming their rabid reactions.

SOLUTION:

Find a new ad team.  Now.  I want to come back and get fat off your food.  I like your crispier, more potatoey fries and the fact that you have onion rings.  The simple description of the Quad Stacker, “Meat, cheese, meat, cheese, bacon.  Meat, cheese, meat, cheese, bacon.”  That was all the food erotica I needed to hear and I was there.  Focus on the product, bring back the food wars, whatever.  There’s enough YouTube douchebaggery out there already.  Stop demeaning people and promote the product.

RUNNER UP:  Taco Bell

REASON:

I’ll give “The Bell” a kudo for having the big brass shiny ones for introducing the concept of “Fourth Meal” on the eve of the era before “Big Food” is hauled into court for force feeding us into the grave but come on, just call it “Munchy Time,” or “Drunk Grub.”  That’s the target demo anyway.

SOLUTION:

Try, try again?  Demolition Man 2?  Hire interns and give them something medicinal.  It matters not, just find something else before someone else gets stuck in the drive through window.

Back…for now.

Posted in Uncategorized on December 26, 2007 by Mas Younon

Hmmm…

Old computer broken.

New one, an expense I wasn’t expecting.

Surprise!  Punch in the wallet.

Thinking too much.

Posted in Fear on December 3, 2007 by Mas Younon

Too long since I’ve posted.

I’ve this bad habit for trying to cram too much from too many sources into my noodle and can’t process it(or even finish what I start to absorb) and yet some other book, magazine or show will call to me and for some reason I must have it/read it/watch it now.  That then combines with the daily/weekly/monthly with a sprinkle of self doubt and imaginative “what if/about” daydreams, and then the brain just grinds to a wrenching halt.

So, I’ve got that going for me…

Now if I can just get through one thing at a time I’ll be able to catch up and free the mental log jam…I hope.