Notes for the Morning News…

Unless I’m in Vegas, and I’m (still)drinking, nothing and nobody is funny at five A.M., ever.  Stop trying.  This is doubly stressed for the weather-people who wish to make up for the fact that they truly have no clue about weather and attempt to cover up their lack of personality by overplaying a fake one.

Stick to your job.  Repeat the three “news” items you’ve been told to regurgitate over and over, give me traffic and current weather conditions, and let me be.

Oh, and by the way…”reporting” the results from last night’s reality programs is NOT news(entertainment or otherwise), ever.

Honestly, if either of us were employed for creativity and humor, we wouldn’t be up at this hour.  So stop it, now.

What Time Is It?

Spring ahead…

I’ve no love for Daylight Saving Time.  At all.  It’s a lie.  A futile attempt at control over forces of nature, logic and common effing sense.  And no, I don’t care that Ben Franklin’s wry humor inspired those who later championed the concept.  It’s stupid.

Noon is what it is.  Midday is when the sun is highest in the sky.  Not for just four months, and then it’s one in the afternoon for the other eight.  DST is nothing more than delusion and control by “civilized” countries who cause more confusion by not being able to agree when to put it into effect.

Look, I’m all for making the most of the hours when light falls on the earth, but let us be honest with each other and not impose “altered” time on humanity.  Time is bad enough as it is.  Don’t attempt to adjust reality just because you cannot fathom the idea of getting up at “four” in the morning so you can take advantage of sunlight.

It does not save energy.  It does mess with internal biological clocks(which also weakens physical and psychological resistance).  It does not help for productivity, as some estimates point to a loss of up to 31 Billion per year(unconfirmed by my lazy research, but I wouldn’t be surprised).  It does throw off natural rhythms.

If you need to do things early, then set your alarm accordingly.  I do not need legislation messing with my (fragile)concept of time just so you can do…whatever it is you do, and not feel like you’re getting up “early”.

Nothing is saved from this process, and what is lost is too precious: the natural rhythm of the world.  People in flux, attempting to shift what is real to what is being forced upon them.  There is absolutely no reason for this imposition to continue.  It is a lie that needs to stop, now. 

All it is, is control…of you.  Yeah it’s very “conspiracy” of me but it is true.  We’ve been conditioned by time and that is bad enough and yet acceptable(for now), but this forced and useless hour hopping has got to stop.

Imagine, for a moment, having to explain to a anyone not belonging to a “industrialized” country that when the sun has reached its mid point in the sky, that it is actually later than what it is, simply because you’re told so by your government.  Well, of course, you must obey the sovereign, slave, but to the “primitive” highest is highest.  You cannot convince him otherwise, and he is correct.

Changing the terminology does not change the reality.  This moment is this moment.  Let’s leave the manipulation of time to those that actually posses the ability.

Hmmm…losing that hour sure made me cranky…perhaps a nap is in order.

…I feel sick.

I was going to post about this yesterday, but I felt so bad that I needed a day to gather my thoughts.

At the placeholder job, I’ve been given some tasks.  Most recently, I’ve been double checking the work of the temps.  This is not a big deal, but one of them had a bunch of mistakes.  Not a big deal for me, but my actions effected another life that day.

I happened to notice that the person in question(keep in mind this is someone from the night shift, whom I’ve never met) had…interesting handwriting.  I thought that by bringing it up to my manager, and suggesting that perhaps this individual might process information in different ways and different instruction techniques should be used for him, would open up new avenues of communication between said temp and management.

They terminated his contract(FIRED) him.

It was later in the day when they revealed to me that there was a language barrier and that they had spent (all of)TWO shifts trying to get him up to snuff.

I could really go off on a rant about business here, but my problem is this:

Because of me, someone struggling lost precious money, and because of that…

Worst Ad Campaign of 2007

WINNER:  Burger King

REASON:

As if the bobble-headed mascot ripped from a Lewis Carroll nightmare wasn’t creepy enough.  This year, the King insults and devalues both it’s employees and it’s consumers.  It began with the P.Diddy advert that was supposed to illustrate that the fast food chain is now “open later for you.”  I haven’t had it my way since I saw this vile excuse for a commercial that extols the benefits of the privileged over that of the employees(who are relegated to the role of servants locked in the building until the owner turns them and the lights on with the clapper).  BK followed that pile of ignorance with the Soccer Mom King Killer bits that simply do not work on any level and then ends the year by “punking” it’s customers and filming their rabid reactions.

SOLUTION:

Find a new ad team.  Now.  I want to come back and get fat off your food.  I like your crispier, more potatoey fries and the fact that you have onion rings.  The simple description of the Quad Stacker, “Meat, cheese, meat, cheese, bacon.  Meat, cheese, meat, cheese, bacon.”  That was all the food erotica I needed to hear and I was there.  Focus on the product, bring back the food wars, whatever.  There’s enough YouTube douchebaggery out there already.  Stop demeaning people and promote the product.

RUNNER UP:  Taco Bell

REASON:

I’ll give “The Bell” a kudo for having the big brass shiny ones for introducing the concept of “Fourth Meal” on the eve of the era before “Big Food” is hauled into court for force feeding us into the grave but come on, just call it “Munchy Time,” or “Drunk Grub.”  That’s the target demo anyway.

SOLUTION:

Try, try again?  Demolition Man 2?  Hire interns and give them something medicinal.  It matters not, just find something else before someone else gets stuck in the drive through window.

Clipboards of doom.

Look, I get it, okay?  You’re a highly motivated individual just wanting to look out for the little guy, like yourself, whose property value might drop if a new zoning law is passed.  You’re a great person, involved in the system and fighting for change.  Hell, I’m even willing to give you mad props for driving your SUV to the Earth Day rally because you’re such a conscientious and good person.  And I know you’re concerned about the children because you’re fighting the evil people who want stop them from reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and by God you’ll cut their teacher’s salaries to make sure that they’re forced to repeat an oath that they don’t even understand.  Yes, you are a great person doing good works burdened with home ownership and the need to control others.

Here’s the problem:

When I go to pick up some items in the store(bread, milk, some TP, maybe a sixer of pumpkin ale, whatever), I do not need you pouncing on me and attempting to force your noble battle to keep the rich rich and the rest enslaved to your enlightened value system that benefits those worthy enough to be like you.  It distracts me from my less important tasks, like budgeting down to the penny and pondering how all people might live in peace and harmony.

I’m truly sorry, that I do not wish to add my name to the rest of those brave individuals with the courage, in this time of war and destruction, to stand up for higher standards of living for the few and lower goals in education for the masses.  I simply just want to get some sandwich fixuns.  But please, feel free to cast a look of self-righteous disdain my way when I tell you that I don’t vote(maybe I do, perhaps I do not), because you are definitely serving a higher purpose than I ever could.

Burning up.

 So the owner of Prospero’s Books in Kansas City, MO. has decided to raise awareness about reading by burning books that it could not find homes for.  I’ll leave it to you to find the website as I will not give a direct link to this store.  The owner claims to be doing this as an act to raise awareness of reading and its importance.

I’ve taken the rest of this away…it was composed in anger and laced with verbal venom.  I should be better than that.

…pressure

To perform, to be the first/greatest/most memorable.  To get whatever is deemed important by society/employer/ego and to get it now.  What are the results?

Eating Disorders; Substance Abuse; Reality Television; Oppression; War(in all its forms)…

…and four dead in Phoenix.

 The last simply buckling to the pressure to get the story/angle/scoop on a car chase.

The sad part is, that the pressure for ratings caused that one.

I’d like to hope that we as a community will some day rise above the need for sensationalist hyper achievement, but to reach that goal we may need to apply a bit of…